A Thanksgiving Reflection on Gratitude, Presence, and Community

Thanksgiving often asks us to name what we are grateful for.

Sometimes the answer comes easily. A familiar table. A person who arrived early to help. A recipe made the same way every year. A message from someone who could not be there.

Other years, gratitude sits beside something more complicated.

A person may be missing. A tradition may have changed. The gathering may be smaller, quieter, or different from what it once was.

Gratitude does not require us to overlook those differences.

It can acknowledge what remains while making room for what is absent.

At Set Forth NY, we believe light does not disappear, even in grief or change. Candles do not create that light. They reflect what is already present.

This Thanksgiving reflection is our way of naming what has remained present for us: the people who stayed close to this brand, the stories shared with us, and the community that has grown around a belief rather than a product alone.

Gratitude does not erase what is difficult

Thanksgiving is often described as a day of abundance.

The table is full. The room is busy. Gratitude is spoken aloud.

But a full table does not mean every person feels complete.

Someone may be grieving.

Someone may be caring for a family member.

Someone may be attending a gathering after a difficult year.

Someone may be spending Thanksgiving alone.

Someone may feel grateful and unsettled at the same time.

Those experiences do not make gratitude less sincere.

Gratitude can be specific without becoming cheerful on command.

It may sound like:

• I am grateful this person called.
• I am grateful we kept one familiar tradition.
• I am grateful someone noticed I needed a quieter place to sit.
• I am grateful for the meal, even though the gathering has changed.
• I am grateful for the person who is no longer here and for what remains because they were.

Gratitude does not need to become a denial of loss.

It can be a way of paying attention.

The beginning of Set Forth NY

Set Forth NY began after Karen lost her mother in 2021.

During that time, lighting a candle in her memory became a small ritual. The flame did not provide answers or change what had happened. It simply remained present beside the memory.

Through that ritual, Karen came to understand the belief that would become the foundation of the brand: the candle was not creating light. It was reflecting something already there.

Set Forth NY grew from that understanding.

Not as a way to fix grief.

Not as a promise that a candle could change someone’s circumstances.

The brand began as a way to make room for remembrance, reflection, and the moments when words are not enough.

That belief continues to guide what we make and how we speak.

What community has meant to us

For a small business, community can easily be reduced to numbers.

Orders placed.

Messages opened.

Followers gained.

But those numbers do not explain what it has meant when someone chose to bring a Set Forth NY candle into an important moment.

A birthday.

A new home.

A dinner with friends.

A life transition.

A remembrance ritual.

A quiet evening after a difficult day.

Some people found us through someone they trusted. Others met us at an event, discovered us in a local shop, or read the story behind the brand.

Many shared why they were choosing a particular scent or who the candle was for.

Those details reminded us that an order is rarely only an order.

There is often a person, relationship, transition, or memory behind it.

We do not take that trust lightly.

To the people who made room for this brand

To everyone who purchased a candle, shared our name, attended an event, carried the collection in a shop, collaborated with us, or sent a thoughtful message: thank you.

To the people who chose a candle for someone they loved: thank you for allowing Set Forth NY to be present in that exchange.

To the people who brought a candle into a private ritual: thank you for making room for it beside something meaningful.

To the people who returned, recommended us, or stayed connected quietly: thank you for remaining part of the story.

Support does not always arrive loudly.

Sometimes it is a conversation at a market.

A note included with an order.

A photograph sent later.

A friend telling another friend why the brand mattered to them.

A customer returning for a second candle because the first became connected to a particular season.

These moments have shaped the way we understand community.

Not as an audience gathered around us, but as people beside whom the brand has been allowed to remain.

Remembering loved ones at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can make absence especially visible.

A familiar chair is empty.

A recipe is prepared by someone new.

A story begins with, “They always used to…”

The gathering continues, but its shape has changed.

Remembering someone at Thanksgiving does not require a formal ceremony.

You might:

• Prepare a dish they used to make
• Place a photograph near the table
• Use something that belonged to them
• Share one story before the meal
• Play music connected to an earlier gathering
• Speak their name
• Light a candle for a few quiet minutes

The act does not need to become the center of the day.

It can simply acknowledge that the person remains part of the family’s memory and history.

Lighting a Candle in Memory of Someone You Love offers a simple remembrance ritual for giving that memory a visible place.

When Thanksgiving traditions change

Traditions often feel permanent until life changes them.

A family moves.

Children grow older.

Relationships shift.

Someone becomes ill.

A gathering changes homes.

A person who once organized everything is no longer there.

The first year of a changed tradition can feel unfamiliar, even when the people present are trying to make the day meaningful.

There is no requirement to recreate an earlier Thanksgiving exactly.

Some traditions may continue.

Others may be adjusted.

A new practice may begin without replacing what came before.

You might keep one familiar recipe while changing the rest of the meal. Gather at a different time. Invite someone new. Leave more space in the day. Begin with a story instead of a formal expression of thanks.

Tradition can hold continuity without remaining unchanged.

A simple Thanksgiving reflection ritual

A Thanksgiving ritual does not need many steps.

Choose a quiet moment before the gathering begins or after the table has been cleared.

You may wish to bring together:

• A candle
• A notebook or piece of paper
• A photograph
• A family recipe
• A handwritten note
• A small object connected to home
• Something that belonged to a person you are remembering

Light the candle only in a safe place and never leave it unattended.

Then choose one question:

• Who remained present in my life this year?
• What ordinary act of care do I remember?
• Which tradition still carries meaning for me?
• Who am I thinking about today?
• What changed this year?
• What am I grateful to have noticed?
• What deserves to be acknowledged without being explained?

Write one sentence.

You may keep it, read it aloud, place it near the table, or leave it private.

The purpose is not to produce a particular feeling.

It is to give attention to what the day already holds.

Everyday Rituals: Small Ways to Mark the Day explores how small actions can gather meaning through repetition without asking the moment to become something else.

Gratitude as attention

Gratitude is sometimes presented as a way to change how we feel.

That is not what we mean here.

Gratitude can simply be attention given honestly.

Attention to the person who checked in.

The neighbor who brought something over.

The friend who remembered a difficult date.

The family member who kept showing up.

The customer who took time to share a story.

The collaborator who treated a small business with care.

The person whose absence is still noticed because their presence mattered.

Thanksgiving gives us a reason to pause long enough to name those details.

Not because doing so removes what was difficult.

Because those details are part of the truth too.

The candle comes after the meaning

The reason for lighting a candle comes first.

Perhaps it is placed near the Thanksgiving table.

Perhaps it is lit before guests arrive.

Perhaps it remains beside a photograph.

Perhaps it marks a few quiet minutes after the gathering has ended.

The ritual comes before the fragrance.

Then you may choose a scent because it feels connected to the room, the season, or the people gathered there.

Coffee, caramel, and vanilla may recall familiar kitchens and shared mornings.

Moss, rum, tobacco, amber, and leather may suit an evening shaped by deeper, earthier notes.

Lavender, sage, chamomile, and cedar may belong in a quieter room away from the main gathering.

The scent does not create gratitude, connection, or belonging.

It simply becomes part of the place where those things are being noticed.

Each Set Forth NY candle includes a seeded-paper note, offering a place for a few specific words that can remain after the day has passed.

Explore the full Set Forth NY candle collection when choosing a fragrance for a Thanksgiving gathering, personal reflection, or remembrance ritual.

A Thanksgiving letter from us

This year, we are grateful for the people who have allowed Set Forth NY to stay beside their lives.

We are grateful for each conversation, order, introduction, collaboration, and story.

We are grateful that what began with one quiet act of remembrance has been met by people who understand the value of presence.

We know Thanksgiving may not feel simple for everyone.

There may be joy at the table.

There may also be distance, change, silence, or someone missing.

Both can be acknowledged.

At Set Forth NY, we believe the light does not begin with the candle.

It is already present within the people gathered, the names remembered, the traditions carried forward, and the care shown in ordinary ways.

The candle does not create that meaning.

It stays beside it.

With gratitude,

Karen and Renata
Set Forth NY