Not Everyone Will Get It — And That’s Okay
Some people will see sadness in my story. But Set Forth was never about staying in the dark — it’s about choosing to walk through it, candle in hand. This isn’t a brand built on grief. It’s built on what comes after: the softness, the strength, the light we carry forward. Not everyone will get it — and that’s okay. The ones who do, feel it deeply. And that’s who I’m writing for.
When I created Set Forth, it wasn’t because I wanted to start a business.
It began after losing my mother, when lighting a candle in her memory became a small ritual. It did not change what had happened or ask me to move beyond it. It gave remembrance a place within the day.
Set Forth was not created to turn sadness into something else.
It began with a belief: light does not disappear, even in grief.
What I Heard
Recently, someone close to me told me she thought the brand might feel “too sad.” She wondered whether the story behind it could bring up pain for some people, or whether my story carried too much emotional weight.
I heard her. I really did.
Grief is personal. No single story will meet everyone in the same way.
But the conversation made me ask myself an important question:
Should I soften the reason Set Forth exists so the brand feels easier for everyone to understand?
My answer is no.
What I Chose to Keep
Set Forth NY will not hide that it began with loss.
It will also never treat grief as the whole of a person’s life.
The brand speaks to remembrance, transition, celebration, reflection, and the experience of becoming someone new without asking to.
There is emotion here.
There is depth.
But Set Forth NY is not defined only by sadness. It is grounded in an honest belief about what remains.
The belief comes first.
Then comes the ritual: lighting a candle, writing a note, setting aside a moment, or saying a name.
The candle follows.
It is not asked to fix the moment or change the person within it. It can simply remain beside what is already there.
Not for Everyone Does Not Mean Against Anyone
Saying not everyone will get it is not a judgment.
Some people want a candle brand centered on décor, fragrance, or trend. There is nothing wrong with that.
Set Forth NY occupies a different place.
We speak with people who recognize that memory can belong beside celebration, that absence can coexist with love, and that beginning again does not require leaving the past behind.
People who do not connect with that are not wrong.
Their response does not require us to become louder, broader, or less honest.
Staying Close to Why Set Forth NY Began
As the brand grows, I want to stay close to why Set Forth NY began.
It can be tempting to simplify a story until only the most comfortable parts remain.
I do not want to do that.
Clarity does not require removing grief from the beginning. It requires speaking about it without making promises we cannot make.
Set Forth NY does not heal grief, provide strength, or tell anyone how to move forward.
It offers presence, companionship, and space to stay.
That is the brand I can stand behind.
Not everyone will get it. That is okay.
Those who do connect do not need to share my exact story. They may be remembering someone, marking a beginning, celebrating a change, or moving through a transition they did not choose.
What matters is that they recognize the belief beneath it:
Light does not disappear.
That is where Set Forth NY begins.
Everything else comes after.
Karen Arcilla
Founder, Set Forth NY
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